Abby Westover

And it came to pass that my blog was born, and I did stumble upon it and seek the site editor. And I looked at my front page and witnessed many retarded links of which held no relevance to me or my site. I wandered in the vast wilderness that was the admin page or something and discovered the source of my grief. I proceeded to obliterate it with my almighty web skillz. I was listening to Radiohead, who is an exceedingly awesome band and an excellent source of potassium. And I looked at my improved page and saw that it was good. Except for the part at the top right that says “Howdy! Welcome to Abby Westover!” And I did think amongst my many brains how I would never say something like that. Ever. “Off with it’s head!” I bellowed in anguish. Only I can’t figure out how to get rid of that crap, and so it remains there like an annoying Boy Scout trying to sell things that nobody really needs, like straw containers, WTF? So I made a mental note to inquire of my sagely father who can heal a web page with one flick of his scholarly hand. I then realized that mental notes become void when you forget about them. So I whipped out my handy dandy cell phone, a cell phone envied and admired throughout all the land because of it’s radiance and awesomeness. And I looked it in the retina and said unto it, “Let a reminder be engraved into my organizer to seek my father’s help.” And so it was done. And I threw chicken pot pies into the air because of my exceeding joy.

And I did skim over the previous paragraph and grew ashamed at the fact that most of my sentences began with “And”, which according to some grammar books is a deadly sin. And I foresaw that my future blog entries would cause me much entertainment as this one has done.

Well brothers and girl brothers, I must leave you at this time to listen to Megadeth and pursue employment opportunities, lest I dwindle and perish in poverty and irresponsibility, when I’d much rather dwindle and perish in large piles of money.

So I leave you with this awesome picture.